Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
