She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
