He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
