I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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