You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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