New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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