I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
