so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
