we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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