My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
is it fun? or sober?
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