I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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