I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
