If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
