Cold hands, warm shart.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
