let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
