Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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