All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
