i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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