You made me cry and you don't even care
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
