WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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