hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
