new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The ass gains better be worth it
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