also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
