No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
