One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
that may or may not have been my penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
