I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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