you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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