I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize