No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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