hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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