You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
