i already hear my dad disowning me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This can only be settled by a dance off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
