STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
