You're so nebulous sometimes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
