you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
