just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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