whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
