I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dick very happy bro
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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