I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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