just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just high enough for therapy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
