i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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