pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
