If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am available for nakedness
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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