Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have already put on my inside pants.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Donāt listen to me, Iām walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting āyeeeeaaahhhhhhā
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