Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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