did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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