apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
