she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
