So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize