Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
