There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
