so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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