Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
