so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
