Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
