yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize