i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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