I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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