Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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