Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
