Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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