toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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