What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
