Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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