Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
