I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
