hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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