I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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