I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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